


Old Sentiment

by FragMinded



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 19:03:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21202538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FragMinded/pseuds/FragMinded
Summary: Relenting to Dean's request that he finally personalize his room, Sam unveils the most important thing he's acquired over the years.





	Old Sentiment

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N: This takes places shortly before the events of Season 11's "Red Meat." I'm still fleshing out my writing so while it is a one-and-done story, I'll update it as I fix things.**
> 
> **Disclaimer: I own nothing relating to Supernatural, its stories or its characters and all work presented is strictly for general entertainment.**

"That should do it…" Sam whispered to himself as he took a few steps back to admire his handywork. Wasn't going to do much in the way of Feng Shui but it would be all the biggest Winchester needed.

"Got any idea what that banging was a second ag-" Dean spoke as he turned the corner into Sam's room, stopping when he saw his brother with a hammer in his hand. "Oh."

Sam looked down at the tool and hit it against the opposite hand a few times. He'd hoped he hadn't bothered Dean but he wasn't exactly trying to be quiet either. It wasn't like it was forbidden but he really didn't want Dean to know what he was doing just yet because he kne-

"Eeyy! Is my little brother _finally_ putting some life into this room?" Dean said with a juvenile grin.

Sam chuckled to himself, more to the fact that he could just about predict when Dean would sneeze.

Dean looked around and the smile started to flicker as he noticed that the ruckus had been over only one nail and the rest of Sam's room was still Full Metal Jacket.

"If you're just getting started, I'll go grab a hammer and help ya out!" Dean piped up, hopeful, and started to turn to walk out of the room. "I'll help make this room…awesome."

Sam kept his brow raised and stared, unamused, at his brother.

"Hey, I read 'Better Homes and Gardens'! " Dean retorted before walking out the door when Sam didn't immediately agree with his gung ho claim.

"Dean. No, I wa-…just…" Sam raised his arms to shoulder height and let them fall just as fast as Dean disappeared. Oh, the disappointment his big brother would feel when he found out that there was only one thing Sam had planned on hanging up in his room. Martha Stewarting didn't make a house a home to him the same way it did his brother. All the power to him for it, sure, but Sam would rather keep things simple.

Listening to his brother's footsteps recede down the hall in a near skip, Sam smiled softly to himself and patted his shirt pocket. Even though he knew it would still be there, feeling it against his fingers relaxed the younger Winchester.

* * *

_ **6 Years Ago** _

The clatter of the necklace hitting the bottom of the trash can reverberated deep within Sam's core. Heat built up behind his eyes, spreading down to his cheeks. He took a deep breath and the exhale quivered through the warm tears that had begun to well.

Dean hadn't said anything as he'd left and yet his message was very clear.

Dean had little faith in anything that wasn't himself, his brother or Bobby. Lately, Cass got added on to that very exclusive list and even that was just barely. It was his way of protecting himself from disappointment and providing the much needed motivation to get through the shit that just kept getting tossed at him from every direction.

After Hell, his faith in himself had started to wane. Bobby was Bobby and although he loved his surrogate father, there wasn't a whole lot he could do in the face of the Apocalypse. Cass had lost faith in himself and God had abandoned them all, so the angel was going to be about as useful as a wet towel.

Sam, though. Sam had made mistakes. Hell, they all had. He'd done things that he thought had earned him a ticket downstairs. But no matter what, his faith in Dean _never _faltered. Dean could always rely on Sam to put that faith back in himself…in them as a team.

The Winchesters against the world.

Not this time.

Dean threw his bag in the trunk of the Impala and slammed the lid down hard, causing Baby to fuss under the weight of the impact. Dean recoiled, patting the top of the car in apology. "Sorry, sweetheart…"

Sam was still in the hotel room and Dean was ready to just get on the road. After a moment of contemplating taking off without his brother, Dean climbed into the driver's seat and closed the door.

The horn blared just outside of the room and Sam startled. With one last glance down at the now empty plastic bucket, he hefted his bag over his shoulder and closed the motel door behind him.

* * *

_ **Present** _

A jingle in his pocket snapped Sam back in the moment. He pulled out his phone just as Dean returned from his little jaunt to the storage room. His brother came bearing another hammer, a pack of nails, screws, anchors and a few pieces of parchment. Sam tilted his head at his brother and pinched his lips together before checking to see what the notification was.

Dean laid all the items out on the bed and turned one of the papers around to reveal a poster. On it was a lovely, scantily clad woman dressed as a kitten, looking as if she was hanging from a tree branch. At the top in burlesque type were "Hang in There, Sexy." Dean broke out his cheesiest grin and waited for his brother to notice.

Sam did notice. Half distracted by what he was reading, he offered only a half glance before returning to the article. Realization hit him, quick, about what he'd just seen and he snapped his head back up. Conveying a look of confoundment, Sam's mouth faltered for a moment before the words found their way out.

"Dean…what is that…?"

"It's a 'Hang in There, Ms. Kitty' poster!" Dean turned the paper to admire his joke, turning it back around with a few eyebrow raises to emphasize the sultriness.

When Sam's face didn't reflect what he wanted it to, Dean's expression fell flat and downright despondent.

"From when…you know….you said….about the poster….?" Dean's voice started to quiet sheepishly. "With Charlie?" The older brother cleared his throat and looked down. "Anyway..."

Sam chuckled and cocked his head back to look his brother over. " 'Better Homes and Gardens' recommends pin-up posters?"

"Shut up."

Sam's laugh echoed through the room, provoking Dean to ball up one of the other pieces of paper he'd brought in and throw it at him.

"Hey!" Sam flashed his teeth, knocking the attack away with his hand.

Dean's fraudulent glare didn't change his brother's joviality, so he dropped it and gestured to Sam's phone.

"Whatcha got?"

Sam had forgotten about the phone in his hand.

"Oh, it's…nothing."

"Nothing?" Dean shot, feeling annoyed "Nothing as in nada or nothing as in you don't want me to know?" He made a move for Sam's phone who, out of habit, withdrew backwards away from him.

"Dean….nothing. Nada." Sam mused. He wasn't lying. He'd set a program to alert him to anything that might remotely be in their wheelhouse in their search for Amara and Casifer, including keywords like "Darkness" and that alert had just been a cliche-worded article about a blackout on the east-coast. Not even demon related.

Sam was actually itching to catch a case so they could get the hell out of the bunker.

"Sam…"

"Dean – here…look" Sam tossed his phone to his brother.

Dean caught it and quickly scanned over the same article Sam had read.

"Storm-related blackouts…could be Cass…" Dean spoke to himself but Sam could see that he was stretching to make that connection.

After a moment of deliberation, Dean tossed Sam's phone on the bed and looked up at his brother with what could be interpreted as longing.

"We'll find him, Dean…we'll get him back…" Sam whispered but even he was having a hard time convincing himself right now.

"Yeah…"

Sam wanted to get his brother's mind back off of…everything. He had a card to play but the moment the thought crossed his mind, his heart skipped what felt like four beats.

Yeah, maybe not yet.

"So that's a lot of hardware for what I had in mind." Sam nodded towards the wall where his one, solitary nail was.

Dean allowed himself to be distracted in pursuit of getting to agitate his brother, but the weight of everything hanging over them sat like a stone in his gut. He pulled his best bullshittery attitude from the depths of himself and cast a look of disgust at Sam.

"One nail? Over the bed?" Dean chided, "How cliché can you get?"

Sam shifted his weight and crossed his arms, pretending to be offended to help egg on his asshole big brother.

"Lemme guess….a crucifix?" Dean curled his lips at his own mockery. "Didn't you see 'A Nightmare Before Christmas?' Or…uh…'The Exorcist'? Crucifixes are bad…and pointless."

" 'A Nightmare…?' Sam doubled over, chortling. "Dean, that's a kid's movie… 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is the Freddy Krueger movie."

A moment of exaggerated contemplation later, Dean nodded his head to the side, blinking slowly at his own mix-up. "Yeah, well, those clay-mation movies give me the creeps…I'll take dead dream guy with knives any day."

Sam scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels in nervous consideration.

"Anyway, Dean…not a crucifix."

"Well, what, then?" Dean raised his hands to his hips and shoulder shrugged at his brother. "Don't leave me in suspense."

"It's…ah…sentimental." Sam managed, still not sure if pulling the necklace out with where his brother's head was at was a smart move.

He felt rightly worried that Dean would get pissed that he hadn't shown it to him prior to this or, even worse, wouldn't care in the slightest that he had it. Especially now that Dean had the prop version from that high school production last year hanging from the mirror in the Impala.

But this seemingly simple piece of jewelry meant the world to Sam, like it had once to Dean. It reminded him of the mistakes he had made and how hard it had been to get things between the brothers kosher again. Getting ridiculed for having rescued it from the trash that day wasn't on his list of To-Dos.

"Sentimental? You?" Sam could be emotional, sure, but he didn't take to things like Dean did and the eldest knew it. What in the hell was his brother hiding?

"Ye-yeah." Sam responded. "You don't hold the patent on fond memories, Dean." The corner of his mouth twisted back as he fixed his brother with a look of feigned annoyance.

"Well, yeah...but…" Dean caught himself after observing how his brother was acting.

Was Sam embarrassed? Oh, this was too good!

"Is it a nude? Or…a lock of some chick's hair?" Dean started to laugh and then retracted. "It's not a lock of hair, is it? That'd be weird…and a little witchy." He gave a melodramatic shiver.

"No! Dean, stop!" Despite his brother's attempts at embarrassing him, which wasn't exactly what he was feeling now anyway, Sam kept his good humor. If for no other reason than to keep Dean preoccupied.

"Come on, then, Sam, I wanna know!" Dean was getting seriously curious over this mystery item of his brother's. He looked up at Sam with the best puppy face he could muster, giving his brother's usual shtick a try. "Please?"

Sam dimpled, laughing lightly at his brother's efforts, but remained mute about the amulet. It was coming down to a decision. Not like Dean wouldn't see it hanging up eventually but that's a bridge that could be crossed later. He didn't visit Sam's room all too often. But then again, what the hell? He wanted a distraction…

"Promise you won't get mad…?" Sam's gaze pleading towards his brother.

"Is it a picture of me?" Dean guessed, not really knowing what Sam could have that would piss him off.

Sam shook his head and turned away from his brother.

Dean could see him pull something out of his chest pocket and hold it, tightly, in his closed hand.

"Come on, man, I ain't gonna get mad…" Dean reassured Sam, mainly to satiate his eagerness.

Sam nodded and turned, letting his hand open and the item dangle from where it was being held.

Dean's partial smiled disappeared completely when he caught sight of the necklace he had thrown away near 6 years prior. Dean couldn't speak…or hell…barely breath. His mind, however, had a hundred questions. Where? How? How long? Emotions caught in a gale-storm. He did his best in that moment to keep a poker face.

Everything was absolute silence, save for the rapid heartbeats of both brothers.

Sam lowered his gaze, having seen Dean go still at his revelation. When Dean's voice did break the ice-cold chill settling on him, Sam didn't rise to meet his face.

"When did you…?" Dean voice was void of all emotion, to the best of his ability. Not entirely sure what he thought, he knew he wasn't mad at Sam. Which was obviously something his little brother had been concerned about. He just couldn't figure out what he _was_ feeling.

So questions first.

Sam wrapped the necklace against his fingers and fixed his attention on the amulet itself, not daring to look up at his brother.

"Before I left the motel…" Sam's voice was a meager whisper and he felt near criminal for dredging up all this old shit that Dean must be feeling right now. Hell, he'd kept it secret for six years. His brother wasn't likely to take too kind to that.

Dean nodded, feeling a tad numb and not understanding why. When he'd told Marie that he didn't need a symbol to remind him of how he felt about his brother, he'd meant it. Of course, he had also assumed he'd never see the actual "Samulet" again. He _had_ expected to never see it again; but there it was, in his brother's hands.

He wanted to feel miffed at Sam for keeping it from him but couldn't bring himself to even be a little bit peeved. Sam had to have had his reasons, knowing him. Most likely reasons that told his little brother that since Dean had dumped it, he'd never want to see it again.

Little did Sam know that Dean had regretted letting go of the necklace ever since he'd regained his will to fight against the Angels and their Apocalypse. Or how much it destroyed him to not have it after Sam pulled himself, Lucifer, Adam and Michael into the pit. That whole year without Sam…without the necklace…

It was Dean's turn to look downward. His face grew warm as the deciding emotion took over and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"I'm so sorry, Dean…" Sam whispered. "I should have told you…or maybe just…" Sam sighed through his own melancholy. "…kept it to myself…" He'd expected rage. Or nonchalant callous. The silent treatment unnerved him so much that he hazard a peek at Dean.

Sam was met with his brother's arm around his neck and the other around his ribs.

Dean pulled Sam into the tightest embrace he could, closing his eyes and bidding his voice to not quiver.

"Sammy…" Dean's voice did shake so he tightened his grip on his brother's shirt to compensate. "…thank you…"

Sam had not, by any means, expected this. However, he did not let that stop him from hugging Dean back as hard as could and feeling all the strain and worry fall away into pure, blissful relief.

At Dean's show of appreciation, Sam could feel his head tilt as he begrudgingly pulled away from his brother to look into his eyes.

"For…what…?" Sam asked, fairly confused.

Dean allowed the hug to end but kept a hand on his brother's arm. It was likely that Sam would try to offer him back the necklace, but after deserting it and his brother like he did, he wasn't feeling too deserving of it.

"For never giving up on me. On us. Even when I did…" His words fell apart as he strained to keep his chin from quivering. As Sam was usually emotional, Dean was not. It took his control from him, even if only for a minuscule minute and that was frustrating to the eldest Winchester.

Sam placed his hands on either side of Dean's neck, maneuvering his head so that he was again eye to eye with his brother.

"And I never will." Sam pledged, miraculously keeping his voice steady.

Dean responded in kind with a smile through his tears and backed away from his brother's grasp, fearing the estrogen-level feel fest this had become out of nowhere. Sam let him go without issue and he was grateful.

And then Sam did exactly what he had suspected he would.

"This…this is yours, Dean…" Outstretched hand bearing the gift of all gifts, given to him again by that pain-in-the-ass little brother. Dean's expression relaxed as he gathered himself. His hand met Sam's and instead of taking the necklace, he wrapped his brother's fingers back around it with the softest of smiles on his lips.

Sam gave two quick looks from the amulet to his brother and a world of conflicting thoughts crossed his features, one of which was hurt, to which Dean held up a hand to quiet him.

"I abandoned you when I abandoned that necklace, Sam. I.." Dean caught himself to clear his throat, giving his brother an opening.

"I deserved it…" Sam added, softly, cautiously.

Sam hadn't thought so back then but the years made him see how much Dean truly relied on him. That trip to Heaven had made Dean feel like he was someone to escape from; that he didn't value his brother as family. Which wasn't at all accurate but all he could see at that time was how Dean was projecting his abandonment issues onto him. Sam had felt like such a tool for that as the years went on...

Dean vehemently shook his head. "No, Sammy, you didn't. You always have my back. Shitty decisions aside, you have never…not once…given up on me." Dean let his gaze fall to the necklace hidden in his brother's grasp. "I should never have given up on you. I don't deserve that necklace."

"Dean…" Sam whined. So much for keeping his brother in a better mood.

"But _you_ do." Dean added to his previous thought, voice firm and eyes fixed, unyielding, on his brother's.

"Dean, no…this is yours. Please don't…" Sam's voice started to falter as he searched for a way to make his brother understand. None of this had gone the way he'd expected when he pulled the damned thing out of his pocket. He'd take Dean tearing him a new one over his brother feeling guilty about past events any damn day…

In a moment of hope for Sam, Dean approached him, holding his hand out for the amulet. Sam eagerly gave it to him, wishing against all manner of common sense that Dean would take it just to have it back again. Dean unraveled it and stared at it as lovingly as he would his car.

Sam kept quiet, unsure of what to say or do and not wanting to break the trance his brother was under.

Dean took in a deep breath and turned to face Sam's bed at the exhale. After a moment, a natural smile twisted his lips ever so slightly.

"I think it's perfect." Dean decided.

Sam's face twisted into pained confusion for the quickest of seconds before realizing what Dean had intended to do. His flights of fancy at Dean accepting the necklace back receded to begrudging acceptance as his brother stretched upwards and tenderly hung the cord from the nail above his bed. He sniffled, nodding to himself.

Dean let his hand slide down the cord and rest underneath the amulet that now symbolized so much more than just how the brother's felt about one another. Sure he would taint it if he donned it again, he was more than willing, happy even, to let it be the one thing his brother used to bring memory and life to his room.

Sam stood in silence, waiting for Dean to turn back around. He still felt responsible for bringing the mood down and didn't want to leave Dean feeling as if he were unworthy. After a moment, contrite impatience gave him voice.

"Dean…I never mean-"

"I know, Sammy." Dean interrupted. Like hell he was going to let his little brother feel guilty for his own misgivings. "You've got nothing to be sorry for, man." He walk over and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder before adding, "Not a damn thing. You hear me?"

Sam searched his brother's eyes for anything resembling false contentment and found nothing but an honest-to-God older brother certainty. Allowing himself a half-smile to appease Dean, he nodded sincerely at his brother.

"Alright."

Dean smiled with his eyes and moved his hand from Sammy's shoulder to the top of his neck, giving it a couple of affectionate pats. Then, in silence, he pulled away and began to gather the tools and posters he'd brought in with him and headed to leave the room.

Sam watched him go, wanting to alleviate the mood before Dean left to probably go drink but was at a complete loss. He twisted slightly where he stood, swaying to keep himself from going after Dean.

Dean stopped at the doorway and peered back over his shoulder, recognizing the look on his brother's face. He knew Sam was stewing in his own thoughts. Remembering, all of a sudden, what he had told Cass when he'd relinquished his most prized possession to the angel all those years ago, he smiled and caught Sammy's gaze.

"Hey, Sam?"

Sam blinked at his brother, relishing the smile on his face.

Dean gestured to the necklace with a faux seriousness, unable to hide the elated gleam in his eyes.

"Don't lose it."

With a breathy laugh and an over-exaggerated nod, Sam relaxed at his brother's indication that everything was ok and returned his smile.

"Never."


End file.
